Ending a relationship is very painful… and the longer a relationship lasted, the more painful it’s going to be. Whether you were the “dumper” or “dumpee” in a relationship, chances are you have a few new emotional wounds carved into your already-scarred hide. If you don’t let those wounds heal properly, they might just sit there, open and hurting, for a long while to come.
Make a Clean Break
You need time to heal. And the healthiest thing you can do for your heart and mind after a painful break up is to break things off clean, especially if you’ve been dumped. At the end of most relationships, you’ll still have emotional attachments, so making a break can be hard to do. But those that manage to break things off clean (going relationship “cold turkey”) adjust and heal much more quickly, and carry less baggage into a new relationship.
Not being friends with your ex
Yes, you’re used to having your ex for emotional support, companionship, and all the nice physical stuff that comes along with it. But trying to be friends will only stunt the process of moving on. Keeping your ex in your life gives him or her a chance to hurt you, even unintentionally, though you’re not actually together. So avoid the cliché, and don’t try to be friends. It rarely works, and often hurts.
If you feel like you have to be friends, then… wait. Don’t try it until you’re 100% positive that you’ve moved on. Even then, be ready for it to be difficult at first.
Getting rid of memories of your ex
Hey, outta sight is outta mind. Painful as it might be, you should try to toss out anything that might serve as a painful reminder of your ex and what you had together. Give pricey gifts away, or store them until you can bear to look at them later. Trash old pictures, delete his or her number from your cell phone, and clean out your inbox of old emails. You’ll feel about ten times lighter… that’s a promise.
Getting a fresh start
Just gone through a messy break up? No, don’t move to a new city or even a new continent just because of it. But yes, do get out of town for while. After something as painful as a break up, a change of scene is often the perfect way to recharge and allows you to feel a bit better. Go on a spa weekend with some girlfriends, or go camping with your buddies. Make “ex talk” totally forbidden, and try to completely disconnect. You’ll probably find that being away from anything that reminds you of your ex will give you a chance to reboot your system, so to speak… and hopefully start back up a bit fresher.
