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We are commonly referred to as a Cougar –

Cougar - older women who date younger men (sometimes much younger), coming out at night looking for some fine young cubs.

Some of us are elusively seductive when looking for the steady company of a younger man. Other cougars are on the prowl, we can stop men in their tracks, and we want our needs satisfied….plain and simple. But whatever the case may be, we are all in it for the same thing... the sex... and mind-blowing sex at that.

Why mind-blowing sex you may ask?

It seems that testosterone levels for men will go down somewhere in their 40s, while women’s sexuality will generally peak in and around their mid 30s to mid 40s... and it seems to stay peaked for quite some time. By age 50, men tend to have more problems sexually as opposed to women. So that alone can have some of us Cougars craving some young hot stud between the sheets…and we want them to stay there for as long as possible. C’mon, it would be like choosing between a nice juicy, thick steak or some shriveled up beef jerky (well, maybe not quite that extreme). But according to the Urban Dictionary, “A Cougar is a female, usually between 35 and 50 years-old, who enjoys the sexual company of younger men.”

Older woman/younger man relationships are not uncommon and are happening more and more. A term referred to as May-December relationships. The men in these relationships are drawn to empowered, sexy and independent women. Women in their 40s, or even 50s for that matter, are far from old. Most are in their prime and starting a new phase in their life, with lots of energy and can outlast at the best of times. It’s wisdom and confidence that makes a Cougar a Cougar….that’s the turn-on. I like to think of it as moving to recreational sex from the procreational type sex we used to have.
Many younger men admit to having a preference for older women. Most will say they find them to be better lovers and much more attentive to their needs with a tremendous sex drive. Younger women may have better bodies (not always by the way), but commonly have too many hang-ups. Older women tend to be more adept in a sexual sense. And as my Editor put it, “Every young guy wants a Mrs. Robinson.”

Personally speaking, sex has been way better for me after 40.

However, I then thought about that…is it because I’m newly single? I mean, my kids are taller than me which means they’re self-sufficient. I’m happier, much less stressed and usually get more sleep. And let’s face it, I’m old enough to toss out those inhibitions that I had during my younger years and, married years for that matter. A wonderful fringe benefit of aging for me has been that I don’t care what anybody thinks. So in fairness to the younger ones, there could be a number of reasons why younger men feel sex is better with us and prefer it to our younger nemeses.

In my case, my May-December relationship was exhilarating for me and had more than a hint of eroticism to it. I was 40, he was 31. The introverted woman that I was during my marriage no longer existed. So in my mind, I could finally be me and enjoy what I only fantasized about for years. I experimented, had a go at things I never dreamed I would have. For him, the biggest turn on was my total lack of inhibition….I was open to everything. My impulsiveness drove him crazy. Teaching him a few tricks in the bedroom became my forte. In truth, I think the fact that I knew I was teaching him, was the real turn on for me.

Younger women tend to shun Cougars, yet are covetous of us. They generally have their back up being around us. It’s the younger women doing the hissing, not the Cougars. But the reality is none intimidate me. If anything, I find it more than complimentary. Personally, what I would say to the insecure, green-eyed younger girls...”Don’t hate me because I’m more confident and more enticing, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am.”

I find myself at a point in my life where I’m celebrating life.

To be termed a Cougar is not at all derogatory or belittling for me. I take pleasure in my little ‘title’ and what accompanies it. I love feeling vibrant and sexy in an enticing way. I enjoy what I enjoy. Period.

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1

ConfusedTuna

Posted on January 28, 2008, 4:14 pm

Cougars? Where! (Howls to the moon like a wild dog)

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