I had a neighbor some years ago, an older gentleman in is seventies, who had been married for almost 50 years; quite an accomplishment in this day and age of ever rising divorce rates. He lived right across the street from me, and as I had my coffee each morning I would see him leave the house at 8 am and enter his garage. Depending on the weather, he might do some gardening, yet oftentimes I wouldn't see him again until lunch time at noon when he'd go back in the house to reemerge again at 1 o'clock to resume his garage vigil. Promptly at 4:30 pm every weekday he would return to house.
My curiosity was piqued, so I went across the street one day and knocked on the side entrance door to the garage. I was warmly welcomed and invited inside. What awaited me there was something I'd never come across before, but which has since gained in popularity; a man cave. And what a cave it was!!
It may have looked like a garage from the outside, but inside it was a whole different story. With the help of his sons, he had insulated the entire space and installed a wood burning stove for those cold winter days. Half the space was carpeted, the other half, which constituted the workshop, was left bare. The workshop contained all manner of tools most of which, hammer and screwdrivers excepted, I didn't recognize. There was a beer fridge, hot and cold running water for the sink, a large television with cable including his favorite sports channels, a telephone, a comfy couch and a recliner with reading lamp. A bookcase held his reading material and the shelves on the wall housed his collection of sports trophies going back all the way to high school, photographs and other memorabilia. Centered amongst the display was his wedding photo because, as he put it, she was his universe and without her the other things meant nothing.
As we talked it became clear that one of the reasons his marriage had lasted as long as it had was because of this man cave. Although he and his wife loved each other dearly, his retirement some fifteen years earlier had led to conflicts between the two of them as regarded the house; what was acceptable to him simply wasn't acceptable to her, and that included his cigar smoking. The house was her domain and that was all there was to it; she would not be persuaded otherwise.
Though I found the whole situation odd at the time, now that some years have gone by I can more fully appreciate this couple who, despite obvious differences, found a solution that worked for them. And at the end of the day they were happy.
