I wouldn't be hanging out here at Datepad and writing about love and relationships and internet dating if I didn't believe that sites like this work. In fact, I'm rather passionate about it. Dating online is a great way for anybody to meet people; and for certain kinds of people --that is, people like me-- it's the best way, hands-down.
Millions of people date online, and many, many of them are successful. So why does internet dating still have something of a stigma attached to it, especially with some kinds of people? When something has worked so well for so long, it seems to me it should eventually be embraced by the public. And while most people do embrace the idea of internet dating, there are always some that scoff at it. They think it's pathetic, or sad, or desperate. They think it's a last resort.
If you're internet dating, there's a good chance you've heard a speech like this from a friend, a co-worker, or your mother: "Oh, honey, I'm glad you're trying to find somebody, but do you have to resort to one of those trashy sites? It makes you seem desperate." And while you know better, hearing this sort of thing over and over again can be horribly frustrating. I know, because I've heard it in the past.
Want to give naysayers a "shut up" that will show them the error of their ways? Read on for five things that will help you battle the stigma that is sometimes attached to dating online.
1. There's no "right" way to meet someone.
Unless you're very lucky, you'll always have to go through a lot of people to find the right one, no matter how you do it. And there's no "right" way. You either meet somebody or you don't. How you do it isn't the important thing.
2. They're missing something, not you.
Have you wondered if the same people who scoff at internet dating also refuse to use social networking sites like Facebook (or even know what they are)? The truth is, everybody is doing everything online now. From working to socializing to researching, it's all on the computer. Huge dating sites thousands of new members a day. So if somebody you know doesn't "get" the whole internet dating thing, it means they're missing something, not you. Tell them to get with the times!
Want to get really mean? Since about half of all marriages end in divorce, you can tell those cynics that they may be joining you online sooner than they think.
3. It really is the easiest way.
Who cares how you go about doing something if it's effective, efficient, and easy? The fact is, dating sites are the best way to meet people. It's no different from meeting people at the gym or the grocery store... the pool of possibilities is just a little deeper, that's all.
4. You're probably trying other things, too.
Just because you're trying out internet dating generally doesn't mean it's the only thing you're focusing on. After all, there are tons of ways to meet people. You can still date online and meet the occasional hottie in a bookshop or a bar. This is just giving you a better shot at meeting that special someone. And how can that be a bad thing?
5. When everybody's on the same page, nobody looks desperate.
The thing that I hear most --and hate most-- from dating site naysayers is that dating online looks desperate. Well, it doesn't. Putting your profile up on a dating site means that you're exposing yourself only to other people with a similar profile: they're single, they're lonely, and they want to meet somebody. When everybody on the site is in the same boat, you don't look desperate just for being there. You look like somebody willing to take your future into your own hands.
The truth is, worrying too much about what other people think of your dating choices is a waste of your time. It's better to spend your energy finding that special someone than worrying about what your nosy next door neighbor thinks of your internet dating. And the next time somebody gives you a hard time about putting yourself out there online, simply ask them, "How many good-looking, interesting, and available men or women do you have on hand, waiting to date me?" And if they don't have that perfect person waiting in the wings, let them know it's time to mind their own business, and leave you to find someone special in that way that works best for you.
