Have you ever seen someone get so mad you thought they'd have a heart attack or literally explode right in front of you? Or have you found yourself so angry you could easily break a two-four with your bare hands?
Anger certainly has its place in the range of human emotion. When properly channeled it can energize you to solve a problem. But when you get angry and direct that anger towards friends and family in a negative way, it's time to re-evaluate your coping skills. The Mayo Clinic offers these suggestions to help you cope with anger.
Take a time out
When I was a child, my mother used to make me go sit on the stairs to cool off. Nine times out of ten, it worked. Now that I'm an adult, counting to ten before reacting verbally or physically to a situation about which I'm angry really helps to defuse my anger.
Get Physical in a good way
The urge to strike out can be overwhelming when you're really angry. So put on your running shoes and go for a walk, a job, go lift weights or go swimming. Physical activity is a great outlet for your emotions.
Find a way to calm yourself
For me this goes hand in hand with taking a time out. Counting to ten, twenty or even one hundred allows my breathing to return to normal and my blood pressure to come back down to earth. Try visualizing a relaxing scene, repeating calming words such as 'take it easy', or get out your yoga mat and do some yoga or stretching.
Think before you speak or act
Before you say anything, think about what you're going to say. Write it down if necessary and go over it until you have it down pat. This will prevent you from being sidetracked and help you stick to the issue at hand.
Don't stew
Soups and stews are things that should simmer, your anger shouldn't. Once you've calmed down and thought about the situation, express your anger in a calm and confident manner to the person that angered you. If you're simply too angry to respond calmly, try talking to a friend, a family member, or a counselor first.
Focus on solutions
Whenever possible work with the person who caused you to be angry to identify solutions. As difficult as it may be, avoid laying blame. Use "I" sentences like "I'm very angry that I had clean up the entire kitchen myself this morning" instead of "You never help clean up the kitchen you lazy slob".
Don't hold a grudge
Once you've addressed the situation, drop it. There's just no point in holding a grudge. Moreover, it's unrealistic to expect others to behave exactly as you want them to all of the time.
