Red Flag 1: He or she has nothing nice to say about others
This common little trait can be amusing for awhile-- especially if your date is clever or funny about insulting the waiter... or the band... or your mutual friend. But if you notice a common thread of unkindness or disdain towards the people in your date's life, a warning bell should go off.
Look at it this way. If somebody you're dating has nothing nice to say about the people in his or her life, what makes you think he or she will have nice things to say about you? If nobody else passes the test, chances are you won't either. As an unhappy bonus, this type of person is often unkind and ungenerous by nature. And who wants to waste time with a person who will constantly be judging them?
Red Flag 2: Lots of scary relationship stories
This one's not a deal breaker, but it's definitely one you should be watching for. If, when talking about past relationships with somebody you're dating, your date comes up with three dozen scary and painful relationship stories... you should proceed with caution. Sure, everybody's had a painful breakup (or five). But there's a difference between a person with normal relationship woes and a perennial victim.
The more bad relationships a person has been in, the more baggage they'll carry into a relationship with you. It's often best to get out before you become another heavy bag over his or her shoulder.
Red Flag 3: Your date's over 30 and has never been in a committed relationship
Some people are late starters, that's true. They don't start dating or have physical relationships until a little later in life... heck, they don't move out of mom and dad's until they're in their 20s. But if somebody you're dating is over 30 (or worse, over 40) and has never been in a real relationship --that is, one that lasted more than a couple of months-- it should be a big warning sign. Generally, they're either emotionally immature, unable to commit, or afraid to get intimate-- none of which are things you're looking for.
Red Flag 4: Simmering anger
Everybody gets angry sometimes... so dating an angry person isn't such a big deal, right? Wrong. This is one of the scariest warning signs I can think of, and it's all too common in both sexes. Angry people blame others for what's wrong in their lives, and don't take responsibility for their own happiness. Perhaps your date has had a difficult life and has earned his or her anger... but that doesn't mean you want to be a target of it. Because believe me... sooner or later, you will be.
Red Flag 5: They're just TOO different
I'm sorry to put this one down --after all, opposites attract and anything is possible-- but I kind of have to. While some differences are relatively minor, some are too big to set aside. If your date is super religious and conservative while you're an agnostic liberal, you might have fun for awhile. But sooner than later, you'll start to butt heads on the big issues... perhaps hard enough to knock your relationship flat. While you want to branch out and meet all kinds of people, it's a lot easier to have a solid relationship with somebody whose views on the big issues are similar to yours.
