Whether you're internet dating, offline dating, or married, finding the right balance between kid time and couple time can seem pretty difficult. With jobs, errands, and a hundred other responsibilities, having the kids around all the time can seem to sap the romance from your relationship. All too often, you find yourself falling asleep in front of the television after the children have gone to bed-- no romance, no quality time together.
For couples with children (or single parents who are dating), the needs of your kids always tend to take precedence over other things in your life. But just because your children are your priority doesn't mean that you can't have romance and fun in your relationships. You simply have to make an effort. Want to give your relationship a shot of romance without taking anything away from your children? Read of for six handy tips for keeping the romance alive.
1. Plan ahead
If you don't have a set plan for doing something romantic with your partner, it's all too easy to just "leave it for later." Which means, of course, that you probably won't do it at all. Instead, write up a calendar of things to do together after the kids are in bed in the evenings. From a "bed picnic" where you have snacks or dessert (and each other) on a Thursday night, to a bubble bath, if you make a point to schedule it, there's a much greater chance that you'll actually do it.
2. Switch off
Quality time with your partner is just as important as anything else in your life. To be sure that you get it, turn off all of the distractions in your life that get in the way of really spending time together. That means switching off your cell phone, putting your Blackberry away, and (unless you're internet dating) turning off your computer. This is a great way to remind both yourself and your partner of what your priorities really are.
3. Make "sex night" sacred
Think that planned sex can't be romantic? Think again. Sex is a hugely important part of feeling intimate. Pick a time and a day of the week for sex (preferably after the kids have gone to bed). Then don't deviate from it unless you absolutely have to. It'll give you both something consistent to look forward to, helping to strengthen your overall bond.
4. Make the bedroom your space
If you make your bedroom a place of your own, you'll feel much more relaxed about being intimate with your partner after the kids are in bed. Close and lock your door at night, and be sure that the kids know that they always need to ask permission before coming into your bedroom-- even if it's the middle of the afternoon. Everybody needs a bit of space for themselves, and a bedroom haven is a great way to get it.
5. Banish guilt
Remember, it's good and healthy for kids to see that their parents want to spend time together-- and that they themselves are not the absolute center of their parents' world. So tell the kids that you need some alone time, lock the door, and don't feel guilty about it. Just be sure that your kids know that you'll be there whenever they need you.
6. Turn off the TV
After the kids have gone to bed for the night, it can be so tempting to just sit in front of the TV like a vegetable, thinking about and doing nothing until it's time to go to bed. If possible, resist the urge. Instead, find something to do together that will occupy your minds and bodies.
A healthy, happy relationship is something that you have to feed, like a pet or a plant. If you don't give it romance, it may just wither and die-- even if that's not what you intend. But with a bit of extra effort and a little planning, you can keep your relationship going strong for years to come.
