Coming down off of the dating wagon and into a relationship can be a wonderfully exciting experience. Sure, it was fun having the wind in your hair and feeling the speed underneath your feet while you were dating (so to speak), but... you sure do get dizzy quickly when you're up there. It's a relief to find yourself in a relationship again. And just a little euphoric.
Not so fast. While starting a new relationship should be fun and exciting, that doesn't mean it's not a very serious business. And since we've all had difficult relationships in the past, we all know how painful it can be when things go wrong.
Want to prevent your new relationship from going the way of your last one (or six)? Then it's important to set the groundwork for a strong, successful relationship before things get too serious. Read on for four smart, simple, but essential rules for a new relationship.
1. Don't let go of you
When you're with somebody new, it can be very tempting to throw yourself into the relationship whole-hog. But don't forget all of the things that make you, well... you. And don't let them fall to the wayside. Keep going to your favorite aerobics class or having your Wednesday poker night with your buddies. Foregoing your real life in order to be part of a relationship is the first and gravest way you can damage it.
2. Let go of jealousy
I'm going to start this off with a painful but unavoidable truth: if your new partner wants to cheat on you, he or she will. There is nothing you can do about it... and acting overly jealous will only make your partner want to look elsewhere. It's that simple.
Another thing about jealousy? It shows you're insecure. If your new partner sees that you value and respect yourself enough to assume that he or she will too... your partner will value you more, not less. Even if it's been hard for you to trust in the past, you need to learn to do it now. Because relationships full of jealousy are rocky ones... and who wants to start out that way?
3. Be friends with each other
The best, most stable relationships are those built on a foundation of friendship. But you don't always have the luxury of becoming good friends with somebody before you date them. So you have to learn how to be friends as the relationship wears on. Think about what your friends do for you, and you for them, and be that for (and expect that from) your new partner.
4. Take it slow
Starting a new relationship doesn't mean you have to jump in feet first. Take your time with this new relationship. Enjoy each other, discover each other, and give each other plenty of space. Try to keep as much of yourself as you can (you might want to go read rule number one above again-- it really is important), and if you find yourself falling too hard too fast, try to back up a bit and let the relationship intensify slowly.
