Whether you were dating in the traditional sense, or internet dating, if you’re thinking of dating your ex, there are ground rules you may want to follow;
1. Make sure you've moved on
After you've broken up with somebody, it's inevitable for some hurt, regret, and anger to be left behind. Some of these feelings are so intense that they get in the way of anything else-- particularly forgiveness and affection. With the huge amount and variety of negative emotions left over after a break up, getting over those emotions before giving the relationship another try is key. If you bring too many negative emotions into your second try at the relationship, you'll be condemning it to the same fate it had the first time around.
2. Be sure things have changed
Relationships end for a lot of different reasons. While those specific reasons may change and fade, the attitudes and circumstances behind them may not have. If there were a few fundamental things about your partner and your relationship that caused it to fail, it's important to look closely to determine whether or not those things have changed. If your partner was a womanizer or a control freak the first time around, that won't have changed just because you miss him.
In short, if there's something about your partner that you couldn't live with before, there's no reason to think you'll be able to live with it now.
3. Take it slow
When you've already had a relationship with somebody, it can be all too easy to fall into the old patterns of comfort and companionship, without facing the fundamental issues that caused the break up in the first place. Let this new version of your relationship unfold slowly. If you don't take the time to build a solid new foundation, you'll end up right back where you started.
4. Use what you've learned as a blueprint
Many people who reunite with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend try to start the relationship back up right where it ended. But that's not the way to have a successful new relationship with an ex-partner, regardless of whether you dated in the traditional sense or you were Internet dating. Instead, you need to build an entirely new relationship, using what you learned in your last relationship as a blueprint.
Going through a breakup changes who you are as individuals and as a couple; therefore what you had before no longer exists. If you've been dating in person, all you can do is make a mental effort not to revert to old habits. But if you're Internet dating, you can really start fresh. Think about changing your log in name and some elements of your online profile to give the relationship a feeling of newness.
5. Leave the past behind
Yes, you need to take the time to discuss with your partner what went wrong the first time you dated. But when you've done that, it's time to move on and leave the past behind you. Even if you've discussed your problems and issues, there's a real chance that old emotions will surface with new situations. Try not to let them. If you do find yourself wanting to bring up past hurts in order to bring perspective to new ones, don't. This will damage the delicate foundation of your new relationship.
6. Keep your eyes open
Yes, the above rule is one of the most important parts of starting a new relationship with your ex. But it's also important to keep your eyes open for recurrences of old, unhealthy behaviors. If you find your partner or yourself falling back into the old patterns of behavior that caused the breakup in the first place, put a stop to them. If you can't, you may need to come to terms with the fact that it's time to put a stop to the relationship, period. Some relationships just aren't meant to be.
