Just as "one size fits all" doesn't work for weddings, it doesn't work for divorces, either. When you marry somebody, you generally intend to stay with them for the rest of your life. You love your spouse, and they become one of the most important parts of you. So when a marriage ends, it can be more than a little difficult to move on (to say the very least!). Some people deal with the hurt and anger of a divorce by having a few fun rebound relationships, or by complaining about it on their internet dating profiles (not a good idea, by the way). Others stay at home, cry, and listen to old love songs. And some decide to throw a party.
Throwing a divorce party is a fairly new idea, but one that's really taken off in the last several years. Almost the opposite of internet dating sites, there are whole websites dedicated to planning these divorce parties, and there are even manufacturers who create divorce party favors, decorations, etc. It's becoming an industry all its own.
Whether you're just finalizing a divorce or have the divorce a few years behind you, throwing a divorce party might be just the thing to help you move on from your marriage and into your new life.
The Reverse-Bachelor/Bachelorette Party
Going through a divorce is something that's bound to leave you feeling less-than-great about yourself-- especially romantically. One of the best ways to recharge your romantic batteries? Look gorgeous, go out with your friends, and have a wonderful night on the town. Look at your divorce as the beginning of something rather than the end-- just like you did with your bachelor or bachelorette party.
This sort of divorce party can also be a great way for your friends to show you their support, and gives them a way help you move on into your new life. The reverse bachelor or bachelorette party can be a pretty healthy way to celebrate what has passed and look forward to your future.
The "I Hate My Ex" Party
Some of the most common divorce parties come about as the result of a very ugly and acrimonious divorce. These are generally less about celebrating your freedom or your new life than they are about lambasting your ex-- which, while ugly to watch, can often be therapeutic. And there's a whole industry set up to help this kind of party go off without a hitch. From little cards announcing your divorce (just like you had with your wedding), to miniature coffins in which to bury your wedding ring, to little "My Husband/Wife Sucks" party favors, you can buy all sorts of things to make this "event" special. Some bakeries even offer funny divorce cakes that make fun of the whole idea of a wedding.
Some of the most popular things to do at this sort of divorce party? Get rid of evidence of your ex, burn your marriage license (or your wedding dress), destroy or bury your ring in a little coffin, or smash something your ex loved. Like I said, a little ugly but oftentimes cathartic.
Sure, it's better if you can move on in a more mature and dignified way. But if acting out in front of your close friends (rather than in front of your ex) helps you to get over your anger and move on with your life, it's not necessarily a bad thing.
The Compassionate Divorce Party
The kind of divorce that allows the two parties involved to throw a party together at the end of it is rare. But it does happen. While the "compassionate" divorce party is the rarest kind, it's also the healthiest. These sorts of parties, which ex-husbands and ex-wives host together, are all about celebrating the life you had together, as well as celebrating the future you have apart. Sometimes marriages don't work, and it's not necessarily anybody's fault. This kind of party advertises that fact, and shows the rest of that family that both people plan to stay on friendly terms. In general, the kinds of couples that are in a position to throw this sort of party --and who have a desire to-- are couples with children who want to show their kids there's no real reason to fear the future.
No matter what kind of divorce you have, sometimes a divorce party can be a great way to bring you into your future in a healthy way. Remember, though, that focusing on the negative is not really a good thing-- especially in the long term. While trashing your ex can be a lot of fun for one night, it doesn't always bring out the best in you. So remember to try to act like a mature adult in the morning, or risk looking bitter and unhappy to everyone around you. Remember to look towards the future, not the past.
