With great food, gift giving, singing, and (hallelujah!) a bit of extra time off work, the holidays can be a very merry time indeed. If you've recently taken an internet dating romance to the real word, or just started dating somebody new, you probably feel like you have Christmas, Hanukah, and New Year's all wrapped up in one shiny package. That is, until you remember that you're going to be taking your new boyfriend or girlfriend to spend time with your family for the holidays. Then (if you're anything like me), you begin to wonder if your shiny new package will want stick around long enough for even a quick cup of eggnog.
But taking your new boyfriend or girlfriend home for the holidays doesn't have to be a torture. In fact, if you properly prepare everyone involved for the experience, it can be a lot of fun. Before he or she steps foot in your home, you need to think about:
Talking to Your Partner
When you think about some of the less presentable members of your family, you probably envision your new boyfriend or girlfriend running back to the internet dating site where you met them with horror stories of your family and your now-ruined relationship. To save yourself loads of embarrassment on the day, take the time to talk to your new partner about your family... and warn them about any "special" characters in the family or any subjects that are off-limits. Remember, your new boyfriend or girlfriend cares just as much about impressing your family as you do about not letting your family scare them away. So set them up for success by giving them tips on what to expect and how to deal with it.
Does your Grandma Alice always make horrid racist jokes that have you wanting to stick your head under the couch cushions? Simply warn your partner beforehand, and you won't have to feel responsible for your Grandma's questionable views when he or she hears them for the first time.
Talking to Your Family
While there's not much you can do about your senile old uncle who picks his nose at the dinner table, warning your family to be on their best behavior for your new partner can be effective in some families. Advise Mom and Dad about any situations that might make your boyfriend or girlfriend uncomfortable, and request that they behave accordingly. It might not work (and your mom will doubtless pull out the photo album from your ugly teenage years no matter how you beg her not to), but asking can't hurt, either.
Planning Around Your Partner
The final and most important part of a successful holiday visit with your family? Don't make your new boyfriend or girlfriend deal with too much too soon. Does your family normally spend four of five days doing hay rides and caroling and neighborhood cocktail parties? Have pity on your partner and cut some of those visits short. Instead of subjecting him or her to the whole range of characters and activities your family has to offer during the holidays, just give your partner a sample. Then go celebrate on your own. After all, if you're lucky and things work out, they'll have plenty of time to find out all they want to know about your crazy family.
