Published in Dating     0 comments – join the discussion!

Sure, internet dating is popular with single people of all kinds. But with its low-pressure, hands-off feel, it's especially good for people who are shy or think that they are socially awkward. I should know... I'm one of them. For those of us who are attracted to internet dating because we love the format, the idea of that "first phone call" can be pretty nerve-wracking. Sure, you can crack a joke that will have him or her rolling on the ground online; but on the phone the same conversation may just leave you tongue tied. At least, that’s how it feels when you're dreading it.

Even if you're excited about the idea of talking with somebody on the phone instead of online, it can be a little intimidating. And the longer you've been chatting over the internet, the stranger the whole phone call thing gets. Fortunately, there are some tips you can follow to help that first phone call go smoothly, and bring your relationship to the next level. Sound good? Read on.

Ladies, play it safe

For women, it's generally a good idea to call a man yourself rather than the other way around. There are countless women out there who have given their phone number to a man, only to regret it later. To maintain your privacy and safety, suggest that he give you his phone number rather than the other way around, and dial *67 to make your number anonymous the first few times you talk. Give him your number only when you begin to feel more comfortable talking to him.

Don't make it a big deal

Putting a lot of pressure and emphasis on the first phone call is a good way to ruin it. Instead, look at the situation casually (or at least pretend you see it that way). Instead of talking about the phone call as a momentous occasion, bring it up in the middle of an online conversation. A simple "hey, let's talk about this over the phone," is a great way to get it started. Instead of making a date to call at some special time, continue the conversation you're already having on the telephone. It's a great way to keep things casual, and it gives you a ready-made topic of conversation.

Don't be nervous

If you've developed a connection with somebody online, it's only natural to worry that you won't feel that same connection over the phone. There’s no real reason to worry. In general, if you have a good connection with somebody when chatting online, you'll have the same (or a better) connection with them when you talk.

Remember, the first phone conversation doesn't have to be perfect. If there are a couple of odd moments or awkward silences, don't fret. You're just getting to know each other, and it's only natural that you don't chat like old friends. Don't stress, and give it time.

Give your undivided attention

When you're chatting with somebody online, you can generally be doing several things at once. Balancing your checkbook or playing solitaire or listening to the radio. And chances are the person you're speaking to will never notice. That's just not true when it comes to talking on the phone. If you're distracted or dividing your attention between your conversation and washing the dishes, your "date" will notice. And he or she probably won't appreciate it.

Send a follow-up email

After having your first phone call, it's a good idea to send a follow-up email to your date to let them know how much you enjoyed it. Even if the conversation didn't go perfectly, letting them know that you wanted (and still want) to move your online relationship forward is a great way to encourage them to do just that. And as a bonus, exchanging positive feedback about the first phone call will help the next one go even better.

Bookmark & Share