Hollywood is a dangerous place. I’m not talking about living there (although yes, real celebrities running around in the wild jacked up on caffeine and nose candy does sound frightening)…I mean it’s a dangerous place in terms of what it produces for the rest of the world to consume.
Movies and TV shows fill our eager minds with all sorts of fairytales about idealized realities where all dreams come true and the good guy always wins and internet dating is full of Prince Charmings If you actually believe that’s how the world works, I’m sorry to be the one to shake you out of your movie theater popcorn butter coma.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m no cynic. I’m actually a pretty cup-half-full kinda gal. But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to make silly (and possibly) tragic mistakes in my life based on assumptions garnered through movie-going experience. And neither should you. Thus, some common Hollywood lies you should absolutely not believe:
Serial Killers - If the rest of your friends and/or family have been killed by a serial killer, chances are you are the hero and will not die. So you should just go ahead and try and fight the bad guy because you’ll obviously win and suffer no greater wounds than being emotionally wrecked for life. Oh and the serial killer could possibly be related to you or be someone from your past.
Yeah, I’m going to just go ahead and say if someone is trying to kill you and has slaughtered all your buddies, don’t stick around to kick Manson’s ass. In real life, you run. Fast. Unless you’ve got a loaded weapon and a clear shot, in which case, go for it and then call me with the details. I love real life badass stories like that.
Emotionally unavailable, dark and twisty men – …can be magically transformed into fully functioning, romantic sweethearts because you love them so much. Excuse me, I need to go throw up a little before I finish this. (pause).
Okay, I’m good. Okay, maybe sometimes this happens. Maybe. But it’s so rare that I wouldn’t advise my worst enemy to throw her heart into a guy who has a wall around his feelings. This is the stuff of cinematic fantasy.
Your high school crush - …will realize he’s in love with you at your 10 year reunion. And you will be better in the long run because you spent your 20s rejected and bent on self-improvement and you’ll both live happily ever after. Oh and the popular girl from back in the day will, of course, be fat and pathetic now. In sad reality, most people don’t change in such surprising ways in the decade following high school. Don’t get me wrong…some of them do. But generally, they’ll end up right where you thought they would.
You will always rise to the occasion – Hollywood would have us believe that if you lie to get a job or somehow end up in a fabulous position, you’ll fumble a few times, come "this close" to losing the gig (and maybe wrecking the company), but then you’ll get some advice from your one ally/mentor in the office and in the end you’ll figure it all out and everyone will think they’re better off for the sideways approach and charm you brought to the place.
Truly, I’m all for pushing yourself professionally. Go for that challenging job. There’s nothing wrong with bluffing your way a bit if you have the confidence to follow through. But going after a position you are absolutely unqualified for is just asking for trouble.
Hot-Flash
51 / Female
Comments: 13
Posted on November 16, 2009, 3:08 pm
As long as you treat it as an escape you should be fine.
