Pride: DON’T
Face facts: you are one person. That’s all. And while I firmly believe that women are capable of more and more everyday, and that our ability to juggle the 27 balls we always have in the air gets increasingly fluid, every now and then we trip. Every now and then, we get sick. Sometimes we need help.
Being so steadfastly tied to your own perceived independence is not only useless and silly, it can be reckless. Learning how to ask for help when you absolutely need it means you will survive; learning how to utilize all of the people and tools at your disposal to make your life easier and better functioning means you will thrive. Giving up your pride doesn’t make you weak; it makes you savvy.
Sloth: DON’T
I hate it so much when I see my single comrades get slumpy and dumpy over not having a main man in their life. This is the time to be the busiest little bee you’ll ever be. Why? Because all your time is still your own. Being in a relationship is incredibly time-consuming. It’s great but it definitely cuts hours out of your day.
Don’t wait until you’re actually dating someone to start being the effective, in shape, awesomely busy go-getter you want to be seen is…you won’t have the time. And you’ll be so busy getting flustered about knowing you could be doing better or doing more that you won’t be the calm, composed, effortless part of a new couple that you want to be. Don’t be lazy now. Take your singlehood to the max, get you affairs (and your ass, literally) in order now. No waiting for a man. Doing that is so completely ick, I can’t even think about it anymore.
Gluttony: DO
I am not talking about food. I am not talking about food. Everyone clear? By calling “gluttony” a “do”, I’m not saying to raid the refrigerator (oh man, I think I have some leftover Indian takeout in there…). I’m talking about being a glutton of the soul, the mind, and okay, sometimes the body.
Take every random vacation a friend throws at you at the last minute because you shouldn’t say no to any good experience if you can help it. Buy that ridiculously expensive handbag because there’s no over-estimating the benefits of feeling aesthetically complete. In general, indulge in all the ways you can that don’t hurt you because…well, why the hell not?
Wrath: DON’T
Push those bad thoughts to slash the tires of that evil bitch who stole your boyfriend down to the deep, dark place where you keep your desire to eat a whole pie. I know both the girl and the pie totally deserve it (I mean, one stole your man and the other is a pie) but they will also both make you feel sick to your stomach later.
Work it out in therapy or kickboxing class or going to the woods and punch-dancing out the rage…whatever works for you. Being vindictive can be fun but nurturing those toxic feelings will really end up hurting you more than anyone.
Envy: DON’T
The only time envy works in your favor is when you see something that someone else has and turn it into motivation to fuel your own raging fire of awesome. Coveting without positive action will get you nowhere. Truth.
Greed: DO
Come on, don’t be greedy towards the world in general, obviously. Being generous with your time, money and love is the best way to feel fulfilled (even my cynical self means that). But other than that, this is the time to be greedy. You are just you. No kids. No significant other.
If it’s your goal to attain those things during your life, then there will definitely come a time when your life will not be all about you. If you have kids, don’t fool yourself, it will be all about them. So for now, while not becoming a totally self-involved diva, let your fight song be “me, me, me”.
Lust: DO (yeah, I’m sure you didn’t see that one coming)
This is a no-brainer. Whether or not you’re involved with someone exclusively, making sure you that you get yours as often as you need is an important part of staying physically and mentally balanced. Don’t feel like adding endless notches to your bedpost until Mr. Right comes along? No one said you need someone else to indulge in your lustful tendencies.
