10. Old fears and hurts.
Everybody has been hurt at some point in their life. People have left them, betrayed them, or simply disappointed them. An important part of having successful future relationships is moving on from these past hurts. When you can't or won't do that, your old issues can be like a drop of poison that ruins a well full of otherwise-pristine water. You can't let old issues take over your new relationship unless you want that relationship to fail.
9. Lack of appreciation.
Living with somebody means giving up a lot of yourself. You have to make compromises across the board, doing things you'd rather not, and giving up things that you'd rather have. And when you don't feel like your sacrifices and efforts for your partner --whether it be doing the dishes or changing your religion-- are appreciated, it creates nothing but bitterness and resentment in your relationship.
8. Gender disputes.
No matter how much we all wish it weren't, it's sort of a universal truth that men and women are fundamentally different. When couples are unwilling to learn from each other, sometimes these gender differences can be enough to fracture their bond. When a man never develops and understanding of what his partner needs as a woman, and a woman never understands what her partner is as a man, things tend to fall apart after a time.
7. Boredom.
While most of them start off with fast-beating hearts and bright fireworks, all romantic relationships fade in intensity over time. The excitement of being together slowly fades away, and one day you realize that your relationship just isn't any fun. Keeping things fun and fresh in a relationship takes a lot of work! Keep things going by remembering to be friends and playmates as well as lovers-- challenge each other and have fun together.
6. Lack of communication.
In relationships, you tend to slowly go from "my partner can do no wrong" to "if he pops his gum one more time I'll kill him." If you don't learn how to communicate in the time that passes between these two stages, you'll often see these little annoyances take over your relationship. And instead of talking out your problems in order to solve them, you allow them to fester, building resentment between you.
5. It was based on sex.
There's not much you can do if your relationship was based mostly on sex... it's got to end sometime! In order to make a relationship work in the long term, there has to be a lot more involved that a strong sexual attraction-- no matter how good the sex is. And, hey... if you're lucky, maybe you'll be able to find both!
4. Losing intimacy.
Intimacy takes a heck of a lot of work. Over time, it seems to get easier to just keep things inside. But when you don't open up to your partner, he or she stops being your partner and starts simply being somebody you spend time with. Partnerships are about sharing and intimacy-- and those are things that take a lot of work, especially over time.
3. Not putting each other first.
We all have a hundred different responsibilities in our lives. With work and family and chores and errands, it can sometimes feel like it's never-ending. All too often, couples get caught up in the day to day grind of life and forget to put each other first in their lives. And when you don't put your partner first, you won't connect with them like you used to. Remember when you first met after internet dating for months, and you were each other's world? Use those memories to keep your partner at the forefront of your mind.
2. Attraction to another or infidelity.
Relationships take a lot of work; and sometimes they require you to look the other way when you feel an attraction to somebody. When somebody isn't able to do that for their partner, their infidelity can be the quickest thing to bring their relationship to an end.
1. Physical and/or mental abuse (or controlling behavior).
Not only is this a reason why couples break up, it's also the very best reason why you should break up with somebody. There's no excuse for physical abuse; and there's no reason why you should sit quietly and accept mental abuse, either.
Screenname12345
31 / Male
Comments: 12
Posted on May 29, 2009, 3:24 pm
The guy is not the type to commit any futher into the relationship, his ship has docked and ready for his next voyage.
Posted on May 30, 2009, 8:13 am
Good one, Screen. That's definitely common. Though I suppose it works for both sexes!
Screenname12345
31 / Male
Comments: 12
Posted on May 31, 2009, 11:37 am
I agree with you karenlyn, it is a 2 way street, but i think if 2 people feel that way after a few years in a relationship, they should discuss it, not lead each other on.
