One of the interesting things about me is that most of my friends are men. I don’t know why that is, exactly. I could get all deep and psycho-analytical on myself and say that it’s because I was insecure as a teenager and therefore put more energy into perfecting how to interact (read: flirted) with men, meaning that as a now well-adjusted, confident adult, I still find that communicating and hanging with dudes is easier for me. Or maybe guys are just more fun. Who knows?
The point is, through my countless platonic relationships with men over the years, I’ve found that more than most women would believe, guys talk about girls. A lot. And they talk about their relationships with girls. A lot.
One of the most frustrating things for me, a woman who loves the man-lovin’ and has also thoroughly befriended that gender, is hearing about the heaps of guilt being piled atop these poor saps. The worst part is that most of these guilt trips are completely unfounded and almost always rooted in female insecurity.
Which is sad, because if men and women knew how to communicate with each other better and adequately explain their feelings and actions…haha, sorry, I just accidentally stumbled upon the great gender issue of all time. I won’t claim to be able to solve that. I will, however, let all of you men know that there are at least two things in this man-hating world to never be sorry for…and some tips for helping you break down the communication barrier between you and your lady friend:
Looking at other women
Now, I’m not talking about mouth open, cat calling, gawking at everything that struts past in heels. That would be going a bit overboard. But you’re a man! You have man instincts, which include being attracted to hot chicks. Sorry, ladies, that’s the way the testosterone-laced baguette rises.
That said, keeping your woman watching from being too over the top and annoying is a good idea. Stay respectful to the gals you see and the one on your arm. You might help squash a burgeoning hissy fit from your favorite female by giving a little kiss, maybe a reason why your lady is way better than that passing girl could ever be, and then explain this: you have man hormones.
Those same hormones that make your eyes wander when a juicy behind crosses your path are the ones that make you want to pounce on her, your main squeeze. Muffling these instincts towards she-wolves in the wild could consequently result in decreased sexual interest all around…and she certainly doesn’t want that.
Man time
Oh, man time. The sacred institution that has been excluding the ladies from the fun since cavemen realized there might be more to enjoying life than the desire to get laid. And for almost as long, it’s been a tradition for the women in these fellows’ lives to bitch about it.
Well, feel guilty no more, men. On behalf of females everywhere, I hereby absolve you of any perceived misdoing when it comes to wanting to hang with the boys. Secretly, we understand that going out sans-girlfriend isn’t so much an attempt at scoring some tail on the side (unless it is, in which case, we know that as well) as it is about catching up with your friends, burping (sorry, I won’t employ stereotypes anymore) and above all, reminding yourself that you are a fully functioning individual.
Meaning? When people are part of a couple, they frequently do more things together than they do apart. After enough time, it can feel almost unnatural to be somewhere without your significant other. And this feeling gives all but the most co-dependent people the frights. Going out with the guys is your way of reassuring yourself that you are still a whole, independent person who happens to be in a relationship, rather than just half of a couple. If your lady doesn’t get that, try explaining it. Then tell her that, on the upside, you’re going to come home a little buzzed, missing her, and ready for some lovin’. And win.
