Published in Top 10     2 comments – join the discussion!

There are times in a marriage that we tend to focus on only positive things and ignore all the negatives. By doing so consistently, then we won’t become aware of our own insensitive standpoints or actions. We all want a ‘good’ marriage, but is a good marriage good enough? Don’t you want a wonderful, great, exciting marriage? To help you succeed with the forever after, try avoiding these top 10 mistakes that are all too common in marriages.

#10 – Doing something once is not enough

All of the following mistakes are easily repeated. If you only temporarily stop doing the wrongs then it’s only a matter of time before you slip back into these all too easy bad habits. Committing yourself to a relationship means continually working at not making the same mistakes.

#9 – For the guys... Don't be late

It can come across as being arrogant and uncaring. You’ve got a date with your wife, don’t be late - period. Yes, women do occasionally arrive late... but it’s all in the spirit of making an entrance and keeping you enticed.

#8 – Not Saying Thank-You

It’s important to acknowledge when your honey is being thoughtful and kind. They will end up feeling unappreciated and not be so willing to do all the little things that are so important in a relationship. Don’t become complacent either in having them in your life, be thankful.

#7 – Tuning him/her out

It may not be that interesting to listen to, but sometimes what he is saying to you is important…so listen. Don’t ignore it or make it unimportant. Don’t make your mind wander while they’re talking either... they will know.

#6 – Jumping to conclusions

In most instances presuming to know what has happened or will happen will push your partner away. Giving the benefit of the doubt is always a good first recourse.

#5 – Playing as if you’re the victim

This type of consistent behavior is somewhat accusatory. It will add insult to injury by implying that something is being done intentionally, and it may not necessarily be the case.

#4 – Talking “at” rather than “to” your spouse

Body language is an important factor or guide to these situations. When you’re talking at someone, they tend to tense up and become defensive. Talking to or with someone will make it a much more relaxing conversation.

#3 – Continually saying “I’m so sorry,” but never changing.

Each and every time you make an apology, you’re getting another chance. However, if you continually make the same mistakes then those apologies will seem empty and meaningless. It becomes a way of life rather than a sincere apology.

#2 – Getting defensive instead of apologizing

If you’ve messed up, then simply apologize. The quicker it’s sincerely done then the sooner your partner will stop having feelings of hurt and resentment towards you.

#1 – Not listening to your spouse

Not communicating is the primary reason why marriages fail. Couples should learn skills of talking and listening to one another more effectively. Little things like watching television while your spouse is talking to you would usually not be a good form of communication.

Marriages are complicated and a lot of work. When you set yourself to make it as solid as possible though, it’s a wonderful union. In the end, your marriage will turn out to be a long friendship not a long date. The only way for a great marriage to stay great, is having that vision and keeping the virtues of a friendship in the forefront. Maybe happily ever after is real after all...

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Comments

Read what people are saying.

1

ConfusedTuna

Posted on May 1, 2008, 3:15 pm

I'm never late... (laughs to himself)

2

Isabelle (Author)

Posted on May 1, 2008, 5:52 pm

Suuure you're never late...(she snickers)

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