Published in Top 10     2 comments – join the discussion!

Here’s one man’s take on what to do before you get down to business!

10. Buy a Tivo or PVR

With the playoffs fast approaching we can’t miss the big game. We all know sex doesn’t come around as often as we’d like. Now let’s face it we are usually offered sex when we’re already doing something else we like. With Tivo you can hit pause and you won’t miss those all important TWO MINUTES of the game! As for the ladies this works for you when Dancing With the Stars is on, though you’ll need a little more space on the PVR!

9. Pay for your movie tickets

The crappier the movie the better, maybe something starring Kevin Costner, now that you’re in a dark room with nothing to watch, well you know…...

8. Give the kids up for adoption

I am just kidding! This is a great time to find a useful reason for your mother in law. Tell her how great she is and them bam, she has offered to look after the kids! Now you finally have some alone time with the missus and before you know it, and after a case of wine, she’s becoming a little frisky. Giddy up!

7. Buy a fortune cookie

Get two custom ones made and get the restaurant involved. Her fortune cookie reads “you will need to have sex with your husband tonight in order to make his fortune come true” and your fortune cookie reads “your spouse will be given front row seats to the Oprah Show”. This one takes some planning but trust me, it works!

6. Beg for it

Sad but true and let’s face it most of us guys are the ones that need to do the begging. For all you guys out there that have girlfriends or wives that beg I hate you. Quite frankly the rest of your lives must be miserable to score such a sweet victory in this department.

5. Lube up

This one is rather self explanatory, it’s fun and everyone should try it at least once.

4. Call an escort

This isn’t for everyone but it’s better than failing at #2!

3. Check to see if she’s really a she

This shouldn’t need to be on the list but with the way doctors and cosmeticians work these days it’s never a bad idea to double check. For the ladies; while this will happen less frequently, you should be checking as well. Heck, Hilary Swank looked pretty convincing as a dude in Boys Don’t Cry!

2. Find a partner

This isn’t mandatory but usually makes sex a little more fun!

1. Have a shower

Clean is always best. Better yet have the shower together, two birds one stone!!

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Comments

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1

scrabble2

Posted on December 1, 2008, 4:18 pm

I might have to try the fortune cookie thing!

2

ConfusedTuna

Posted on December 2, 2008, 1:39 am

11. Find enough money to pay for it.

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