Some people are lucky with internet dating. They seem to have a talent for attracting the right kind of people and have the best possibility of making a quick connection. But others have exactly the opposite experience. They work just as hard on their dating profile and are just as picky about who they make dates with. But it seems like their internet dating profile is a magnet for wildly unsuitable men or women.
Sound familiar? Read on for some tips in dealing with too many inquiries from unsuitable suitors... and how to improve your chances at reeling in the good ones.
WithdrawOftentimes, it's difficult to tell immediately whether somebody may or may not be right for you, and so you may have already begun a conversation with somebody you don't wish to know better. The first thing to do if you've attracted one or more people who you feel are unsuitable for you is to withdraw. Unless you're using internet dating sites to find friends as well as lovers, you don't want to waste time on somebody who isn't a real possibility... even if they seem very nice. You don't have to apologize for wanting to move on. Make it clear you're not interested, and set your sights on more appropriate people.
Don't Give UpIf you've had many more responses from undesirable or unsuitable dates than you have had from appealing ones, don't let it get to you. Many people use this kind of failure as an excuse to give up on internet dating. Don't. Instead, keep working away, refining your profile and your technique until you get more "positive" hits. Like anything else, internet dating is a skill that needs to be learned over time. Don't give up on it.
Evaluate your profileIf you find that most of the responses your internet dating profile receives are from undesirable people, it's time to take a good look at your profile itself. Get a friend (or friends) to take a look at it with you. It happens all too often that your profile (including photos and text) will unintentionally suggest things about you or your desires that simply aren't so. Or that it will fail to suggest things that are so. Be sure that your profile isn't misrepresenting who you are to the detriment of your search.
Get SpecificIf you looked over your internet dating profile and determined that it accurately describes who you are, it may be time to get specific. If the wrong kinds of people are still attracted to your profile, making specific statements about what you don't want may be a step in the right direction. Define who you are and what you want from a man or a woman. Make it clear what kind of person is suitable for you... and what kind isn't. You'll still get responses from people who don't even bother to read your profile, but they'll be easy to sift out from the good ones.
Review your ExpectationsOftentimes, people who have bad experience after bad experience with internet dating tend to have a pattern of behavior or thinking that they're simply not seeing. Take a look at your expectations, and try to determine why it is that they're constantly being disappointed. The best way to do this? Practice. Take time to write down your expectations for the person behind a profile that you're interested in. Compare that to what you're actually looking for in a partner. If you see a big discrepancy between the two, you may not be choosing carefully enough.
