Published in Sex     4 comments – join the discussion!

Most women would agree that there’s nothing like being romanced, both in and out of the bedroom. The kind of fantasies that girls grow up with, i.e. candlelit dinners, holding hands, ‘making love’ for hours on end and of course your man always-always wanting to lavish you with hours of oral sex…..yes, you’re always first. Good old fashioned vanilla sex…lemon drops and ….I might start singing the Sound of Music during my loving session too. I know, I’m being cynical, but sometimes it’s just all a bunch of bull-crap too.

Throw me up against a wall, baby! Now we’re talking!

Would it be anti-feminism to say some women like the rough, down and dirty kind of sex? And I’m talking very rough, and very dirty. Women want passion and no better time than when you’re in the throes of it. As far as I’m concerned there is nothing wrong with controlled rough sex, without fear or real pain. The reality is that sometimes…well, umm…there are times when a woman just needs to be milled, and pounding her like a piece of meat will do the trick. And when he’s got your hair firmly gripped in his hand, then you know you’re about to have the time of your life. The rough kind of sex, which in concept, some women don’t want to admit to liking. Sorry, but so true.

Rough sex is about control and dominance….and for us women, what better way than playing the mind game of “I’m submissive”, when in fact I’m actually in control and about to bite you back. It’s very empowering to say the least. In fact, there are many terms used to describe this type of sex. The acronym most commonly used is BDSM.

BDSM is a term which describes a number of related patterns of human sexual behaviour. The major sub groupings are described in the abbreviation "BDSM" itself:

• Bondage (B)
• Bondage & Discipline (B&D)
• Domination & Submission (D&S, DS, D/S, D/s)
• Sadism & Masochism (or Sadomasochism) (S&M, SM)

In truth, any form of BDSM whether mild or hard core is a personal choice we make. In my case, to my surprise, I’ve learned that I enjoy mild forms of B&D or different forms of D&S. I moved from simple vanilla sex for years, to very diverse and erotic love play. Please keep in mind, I am writing this after almost 20 years of tolerating – and I do mean tolerating – mediocre half ass attempts at fornication, oh lord. But that’s another article. My legacy to my ex was that I was a stay-at-home mom who only wanted sex 3 or 4 times a year because I just wasn’t into it. Let him have his delusions.

Currently my lover and I go to the extreme of having ‘play’ scenes in my bedroom. The levels of intensity vary when we role play…things like a slap or a bite here and there, quite a bit of hair pulling, handcuffs and blindfolds, all with a variety of positions. But in between we have some gentle caresses and soulful kisses to bring home the fact that we’re not really hurting each other. It’s a very erotic form of play that will stay with you for days afterwards.

My deep sense is that in truth, men want the prim and proper wife or girlfriend on their arm to bring to that important business function, but a go-getter in the bedroom…and one who goes for that matter.

I guess it comes down to what we all enjoy or want during sex

Any type of BDSM can be very enjoyable, but only if – and most importantly – if it gives you the freedom to be who you want to be without reservations, shame or embarrassment…..to just be able to take pleasure in, if that’s what you desire. Who says you can’t like hardcore sex and still be a nice girl? Why is that so BAD? Who says you can’t even be into more than one kind of sex either? Make your choices…your own choices…don’t be afraid to relish in a little naughtiness, or feel ashamed of wanting to. Be yourself and be who you want to be. I do.

And as far as I’m concerned (and this is just my opinion), there’s nothing hotter than a hot chick who has a tattoo, rides a motorcycle and likes it rough…but that’s just me…

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Comments

Read what people are saying.

1

Isabelle (Author)

Posted on February 12, 2008, 3:41 pm

You got it girl!

2

ConfusedTuna

Posted on February 24, 2008, 2:12 pm

Bring out the whips.

3

BlackAcid

Posted on March 12, 2008, 3:54 am

Every form of sex be it, "vanilla" or straight to the money, bdsm, has its time and place. or so i've experienced. different times and situations call for different, err, actions. i definately understand the down and dirty sex, but it's also very nice to have the vanilla version every once in a while too. i guess what i'm saying is that Azure is right, one thing, too often, becomes too much, spice it up.

4

Isabelle (Author)

Posted on March 12, 2008, 11:47 am

That's the gist of my article for sure...spice it up...thanks for the comment posted BlackAcid. Isabelle

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