When you're getting started internet dating, it's easy to experience "information overload". First, you have to choose an internet dating site from all of the countless choices on the net. Then you've got thousands and thousands of profiles to sift through on any one site. And on those profiles themselves you'll find a mountain information-- some of which will tell you what you need to know, and some of which won't. Talk about information overload! How can you possibly choose when all those profiles run together... and you forget what you're even supposed to be looking for?
Let's start off with the idea that you have several free internet dating profiles in front of you, and that you're trying to decide which one you're most interested in going out on a date with. All off them look pretty good, and each one has something that attracts you-- a great photo, funny comments, etc. But how do you tell which one is worth your effort... and which might turn out to be a total dud?
The answer is, unfortunately, that you can never be sure. But if you look more deeply into some aspects of his or her internet dating profile, you may be able to form a decent idea. Read on for tips on where you'll find the information you need.
Looks and lifestyle.
So you've got your profiles in front of you, and you're torn. So one of the first things you'll need to look at is the photo. Not everything is about looks, but chances are if you don't like what you see in his or her online photo, you won't like what you see when you meet him or her in person. Now, an awesome personality can always trump good looks, but what kind of attraction you feel to his or her photo can give you a good idea of the attraction you'll feel to the person.
Also, you'll want to look at any claims as to age and lifestyle for what they are. Are allusions to age and lifestyle straight-forward and totally upfront? Or are they just vague ideas-- "young at heart" or "I am my own boss"? The more information you can pin down as true (or at least straight-forward) the easier it will be to decide on your favorite.
Personality and sense of humor.
Everybody thinks they're funny-- and most mention it on their internet dating profile. But the truth is, most people aren't funny; and some of the ones that are won't necessarily tickle your funny bone. After all, there are lots of different kinds of humor. If you really want a date with a good personality and a great sense of humor, you've got to look for humor on the profile page. If somebody claims to be hilarious on their profile but there's no sign of a sense of humor there, it's a claim you should definitely take with a grain of salt.
Career.
For some reason, this is something that women tend to worry about more than men-- what does this person you may be interested in do for a living? While men might think that women with an interest in this question really only care about money, the truth is that most (though not all) women simply want to know that the person they date is doing something. That he is employed and responsible and mature. Sure, the on-again, off-again pizza delivery guy who's been building the same silly, unprofitable website for six years may be charming... but he may also be a dead end.
This is where you'll want to look for concrete statements about what kind of work somebody does. Even if they don't specify their actual employment, do they talk about their work at all? "I love what I do," or "I wish I worked shorter hours," will at least tell you that your prospect is gainfully employed. Sometimes, though, you won't see any specifics about career on an internet dating profile. If you want to know, you've got to strike up a conversation. If the person you're talking to tends to be vague and non-committal about what they do --especially if they talk about big future plans without mentioning any actual current work-- there's a good chance they don't do much.
Why they're looking for love.
This should be one of the first things you look at on an internet dating profile. If you're online looking seriously for a lifetime partner, you want it to be very clear that a prospective date wants the same. So look at the profiles in front of you and ask, "why is this person dating?" If they talk about just having left a long-term relationship, they may simply be looking for a bit of rebound fun (and probably aren't a good prospect anyway). If they say they're out looking for a good time, chances are they aren't up for a committed relationship. When it comes to gauging somebody's motivations, you've got to learn to read between the lines-- unless a person (especially a man) comes right out and says that he's looking for a relationship, he probably isn't.
Roses4mysoul
70 / Female
Comments: 21
Posted on May 6, 2009, 3:32 pm
"Unless a man comes right out and says he's looking for a relationship, he probably isn't" IS SO TRUE! Even if he says he's looking, 9 times out of 10 his definition of "relationship", especially "long term", is different from yours. Ya gotta ask him to define his terms!
