There are a lot more important things about dating somebody than their sexual prowess. After all, a man's sexual performance can be improved over time... but his bad personality probably can't. That said, sex is never going to stop being important no matter how great a guy is otherwise. And while it's impossible to truly tell how good or bad a man will be in bed without testing him out first, there are plenty of little hints around that may give you an idea of what he'll be like.
Met a hot guy on an internet dating site and trying to scope out his sexual potential? Read on for my ten hints that he'll stink in the sack. They're not foolproof, but hey... they're better than nothing!
1. He's afraid to make eye contact.
Sex, of course, is all about contact. If somebody you date is afraid to look you in the eye, it means they have a problem in general with connection and intimacy. Which doesn't bode well for the most intimate act of them all.
2. He chows down his dinner.
As women, most of us want a man who can savor us like his favorite meal-- not one who rushes right through to dessert and a nightcap. If he scarfs down his meal without the excuse of being really, really hungry, it doesn't say good things about how he'll be when he devours you.
3. He doesn't pay attention.
Part of being good in bed is noticing and reacting to your partner. Which requires the sort of person who is watchful and observant. If he wouldn't be able to tell you the color of the waiter's hair (or the color of your own eyes) he probably won't be able to tell what you like in bed and what you don't. Because he won't be paying attention.
4. He's not very clean.
There's a difference between being a shaved-and-plucked metrosexual and being, well... clean. A man doesn't have to be perfect to have potential (in fact, too much perfection is usually a bad sign) but if he's smelly and unclean, he's probably not very sensual. Or pleasant to be naked with. Yuck.
5. He talks only about himself.
Again, sex is about focusing on another person and what pleases them most. If the only thing he's focused on conversationally is himself, then there's a good chance he'll be exactly the same way between the sheets.
6. He's a poor kisser.
A good kiss is a full-body, breathless, and all-enveloping experience. It's the perfect precursor to a night of good sex. But if he doesn't kiss well, what would make you think that he'd do other sexual things well? If he just kisses you with his tongue or his lips instead of his whole body, it says something about his awareness of his body and yours.
7. After several dates, he's afraid to make a move.
Now, of course it's possible that he's just a gentleman. But if you met on an internet dating site, have gone on four dates, and it truly seems like he's afraid to make a move, you might start wondering if you want him to. Confidence and the ability to take initiative are both important parts of good sex. If he doesn't have either of them, it's a problem.
8. He checks out his muscles in every shop window reflection.
This means he cares a lot more about his own body than he cares about pleasing yours. Turn and run.
9. He doesn't listen to you.
Or anybody else. If a guy you're dating doesn't listen to you or the people around him, it means he's self absorbed. And nothing bodes worse for a person's skills in the bedroom than that kind of self absorption. It means he doesn't care about pleasing anybody but himself.
10. He talks about how good he is in bed.
Many men just think being a little larger than average means they don't have to put any more work into being a good lover. But this could not be less true! A truly good lover will be happy to wait to show you what he can do. An insecure one will talk about it. And which of the two do you really want?
Trevorfordham
44 / Male
Comments: 1
Posted on July 16, 2009, 11:01 am
...mmm...its all about chemistry...pheremones...
Fnlyfree2bme
49 / Female
Comments: 1
Posted on July 18, 2009, 7:03 pm
These are all good points and I do happen to agree with them all to an extent, but I have to also agree with Trevorfordham's comment about the pheremones...
Butterfly63
46 / Female
Comments: 1
Posted on July 20, 2009, 10:05 am
I agree to a point. ?? have you ever been really physically attracted to someone and then when you get into the bedroom, it like UGH... I think pheremones play a role , but it is also about the connection... Physcial attraction doesn;t always mean great SEX! :)
Erinlovely
29 / Female
Comments: 2
Posted on July 27, 2009, 5:05 pm
That guy that thinks it's pheromones probably sucks (no offense). I have just learned to pick up a lot more ques, based on specific things men say. Steer the conversation towards sex, the mechanics of it. If he informs you he isn't into anything fancy, he probably isn't good at the regular stuff either. The best example is the g-spot". If he says he doesn't do any of "this stuff" *he wiggles his fingers like it is silly*... Don't even bother. Good in bed things men say: -I love oral sex, I would go down for hours. -I get off on my partner getting off. -If he laughs that most guys can't find the clitoris or g-spot. This man has potential ^ and is probably good already.
DudeFromDallas
21 / Male
Comments: 2
Posted on September 21, 2009, 3:18 am
Ok I got a question about the whole "doesn't make a move" thing. Well I have a friend *Cough* lol who hasn't had sex in... a long...long...LONG... lol while. That kinda seclusion kinda throws off anyone's confidence. What's the best way to bring something like that up... if my friend wanted to lol. It seems to me, as a completely third party >>...
Hot-Flash
50 / Female
Comments: 13
Posted on September 21, 2009, 7:02 am
Hey DudeFromDallas, I'd tell your friend *cough* to stop worrying. You might also want to ask him why he'd even want to bring that up (no pun intended!)?? It's HIS business and really no one else's. We all have "droughts", but that doesn't mean it needs to be advertised.
DudeFromDallas
21 / Male
Comments: 2
Posted on September 22, 2009, 1:18 pm
Well it's , I believe *cough* lol that it's more of a situation that eventually does come up. Standing as far third person as I can... I can only think that at this point it is a confidence thing. let's just say for supposition... say like maybe 4 years.. It seems that everytime a girl learns this the eye-brow quirks and the head tilts. My friend is one of the old fashioned types that doesn't do anything (often) on first date, or second, sometimes third. But no matter how long ya can prolong the finding out of said "drought" once it's out it seems to take on bigger importance than if said friend was a ... more promiscuous(?) guy.***--
