Do you ever wonder why you keep attracting the same kind of guy on your favorite internet dating site? More than that, do you ever sense that there’s some inherent thread between multiple men in your life but haven’t been able to put your finger on just what it is or just what it is about you that keeps drawing them into your sphere?
I’ve definitely had this dilemma. The problem that a lot of women have is spending a great deal of time carefully concocting an image of themselves that they want to present to the rest of the world and making sure they align all the details of their life to fall in with the image. I won’t even get started on how I think you should let yourself be more eclectic and naturally-occurring than that. But people do it. Public images (and sometimes whole personalities) can be quite contrived.
At the same time, we think about what type of mate we would like to have. Oh yes, we spend so much thinking about every little detail we would choose if we could build our own boyfriend. But the thing we seem to not think very much about is how the two ideas play against another; is the girl we’re coming off as attracting the kind of guy we truly want? Let’s see…
You are:
The “One of the Boys” Girl
You’re Going to Get:
The guy who wants to be able to treat a girl like the rest of his buddies and still get laid. He’s probably the guy who, on more than one very drunken occasion, has professed to his close friends that if they had tits, he’d marry them. This kind of guy can be good or bad, depending on what you want.
If you’re a one-of-the-boys girl because you naturally prefer the fellas as friends, you might love a relationship like this. It all comes back to being your genuine self; if you’re pretending to be more down-with-the-dudes than you are to win points with a particular guy, you might end up disappointed with the man’s lack of girly romanticism.
You are:
Little Miss Sweet Innocence
You’re Going to Get:
Big, bad protector man. Or maybe the Big Bad Wolf. Either of those can be a turn-on. If you’re a straight female, it seems safe to assume that you are attracted to men who are men. That’s how I am. And when a guy feels the need to guide and protect his ladyfriend, it usually makes him feel quite masculine and the testosterone flows freely. So that can be nice. The downside to all this? Your man might end up as an over-bearing he-man who is unable to see you as the self-sufficient, smart, independent woman you are.
You are:
The Sulty Seductress
You’re Going to Get:
The non-reality guy. This is the dude who is all about the fantasy. You look a certain way, know how to carry yourself and generally drive men wild. This guy will be the perfect playmate for you, as he’ll gladly enter into the image you’ve constructed around yourself. He wants to be taken into it.
The bad thing is that most of us love to have our moments as this femme fatale but very few of us want to keep it up all the time. Even fewer of us actually can. And this type of guy you’re attracting has no interest in hearing about your job or family the next morning.
You are:
The Super Helpful Girl
You’re Going to Get:
A guy with mommy issues. Okay, not always. But you have to play it carefully. It’s sweet to help your man pick out a tie in the morning or bake cookies for your nieces. The whole maternal, nurturing thing can be amazingly attractive when it’s balancing out an otherwise fierce and worldly woman.
But when you start letting your sweetie depend on you to do all of his laundry and make his dinner and take his temperature every time he has the sniffles…yeah, it can go too far. You don’t want to end up someone’s mama who didn’t actually bake in your belly for 9 months. If you don’t make sure to tame your instincts to take care of people (just a little), you could end up with a pet instead of a partner.
