If you're here on Datepad to use our internet dating service to find somebody special, it probably means that you already know a lot about the ins and outs of relationships. You know about love, sex, friendship... and, of course, you know about infidelity. But there are some things you may not know about infidelity. Things like who does it, why, and what the different kinds of infidelity mean.
According to a study by Peggy Vaughan, the author of a relationship book called "The Monogamy Myth," about 60% of husbands and about 40% of wives will cheat on their spouse at some point during the course of a marriage. So if you thought you were the only person who's been betrayed by an unfaithful partner, think again. It happens all-too-often... and more often than not the person being cheated on never even finds out about it.
Why Men Cheat
While both sexes do cheat, it's pretty clear that men cheat more often than women do. And while a person's reasons for cheating are complex with both sexes, those reasons are often a little simpler with men: they're based on sex.
Biologically, humans aren't necessarily meant to be monogamous. Especially men, who are endowed with an instinct to spread their genes as widely as possible in order to increase the chances of keeping those genes going in a surviving descendant. Most other animals work the same way, so why should humans be any different?
Well, we are. While committing to 100% monogamous relationships isn't fixed in our genes, the habit of taking long-term partners is a natural one. Which means, guys, that cheating is never okay, and your genes don't entitle you to run around and, well, spread them.
In addition to just getting more sex, men also cheat because:
• The opportunity for consequence-free sex arises;
• They want to experiment sexually in ways they cannot with their current partner;
• They enjoy the chase;
• They want to be the center of a woman's attention again (this often happens with longer marriages); or
• They're addicted to sex.
Why Women Cheat
Though unfaithful women are driven, in part, by sex as much as their male counterparts are, the motivations behind women who cheat are a bit more complicated. Hey, we women have got to stick to type, right? What would men do if we weren't complicated?
In general, women cheat on their husbands or boyfriends for emotional reasons. And sometimes, they may not even know what those reasons are. Though it's not common, almost any emotional turmoil can trigger the kind of insecurity that leads to being unfaithful: the children leaving home, a new job, even a bit of weight gain. Though there are many emotional reasons why women cheat (both in internet dating and in live relationships), the most common ones are:
• A lack of emotional intimacy and bonding at home;
• A lack of attention and/or admiration from her husband or boyfriend;
• A wish to feel special, desired, romanced, or wanted;
• Personal insecurity;
• Loneliness;
• Sexual desire.
Types of Infidelity
Because a person's motivations for being unfaithful to their partner can vary so widely, there are many different types of infidelity. Especially when infidelity is based on problems in a relationship, the following patterns can show up when one partner is unfaithful to another.
They want out. Some affairs happen in order to create an "out" for the cheater. He or she isn't truly committed to the relationship, and is looking for an excuse to get out of it. Or, better yet, to have their current partner break it off for them.
They want attention. Other instances of infidelity happen as a sort of "cry for help" for the relationship. Things aren't going well, and being unfaithful is an effective (though, of course, unwise) way to bring the situation out into the open.
They want fun. Men looking simply for sex or women looking simply for a thrill would fall into this category. Though of course there may be other motivations at work, as well.
They want "company." For some, being faithful simply isn't something they're able to do; for others, emotional insecurities get in the way of true intimacy and commitment. These people may hold long affairs that can go on for years, or have one extra-marital affair after another.
SeeWhoIAm1
28 / Female
Comments: 1
Posted on December 21, 2008, 10:53 pm
Will im not great spell here i go i dont know why men cheat on woman but is inof on Infidelity has help me understand it. I just want say this I believe in geting marry befor any one have sex that the right wey and we are a higher foam than animals so we meant to mate for life this is what I believe in and im waiting to get married to joy sex and love in a deeper way
Saint78
58 / Female
Comments: 5
Posted on December 23, 2008, 7:18 am
Men are turned on by sight if you are no longer sexually apealing there is always some one who is. Just take a look at the women on this sight with their boobs hanging out!
Centaur
54 / Male
Comments: 5
Posted on December 30, 2008, 8:10 am
Hey... gotta' agree with saint78 above! SeeWhoIAm1, makes a claim that the human species is a higher form than animals... Unfortunately, I must disagree! But that is a story for when I have a couple of days...
