Published in Relationships     0 comments – join the discussion!

You might think your new boyfriend or girlfriend is the best thing since sliced bread. They treat you nice, they make you laugh, and you have a great time together. But for some reason, your parents don't like your partner. And, in typical parent fashion, they're not afraid of letting you know.

You love your family, but you're also really excited about this new relationship... you don't want to give either one up. It's a difficult situation. And while you can't make your parents like your partner, you can try to reduce the damage that disagreeing with your choice of partner might do. Your best option? Look at the problem face to face, and deal with it. Like a nasty cut, ignoring it will only make it fester.

First, start out by getting a little perspective about your parents' feelings. Look back on your past relationships, and think about how your parents felt about previous partners. Have they always disliked the people you've dated? If so, take their opinion with a grain of salt... you might have to get used to the idea that they'll never be comfortable with your relationships.

Next, communicate with your parents. Especially if they don't have a history of disliking your partners, you need to listen to them. Now, this doesn't mean that you need to do what they say. But it does mean that you need to show you respect them enough to listen to their opinions. Try to button up your mouth and not get defensive on your partner's behalf. Listen reasonably to your parents' reasons for feeling as they do.

Then tell your side. The most important thing to keep in mind when you're talking about your partner --and trying to talk your parents into liking him or her-- is to make the conversation about you. If you try to speak for your partner, chances are that you'll just make your parents resentful towards him or her. Instead, talk to them about how it makes you feel when they treat your partner poorly. Take time to explain to them what you see in your partner, and in what ways they're special. Do this point by point, and try to sound as dispassionate and reasonable as you can. Don't let it degrade into an argument.

While you have no real control over how your parents feel about your partner, what you can do is show them that you're a mature adult making an intelligent, informed decision about your relationships. Show your parents that you can be trusted to make smart decisions in your romantic life, and they may, with time, learn to trust your choice in partner. And maybe even learn to like them.

Bookmark & Share