One of the best things about Internet dating? You might expect me to say "the broad range of choice," or "getting to know people in a non-threatening environment." And while both of those things are true, there's another great thing --the one I'm going to talk about in this article-- about Internet dating. And that's not having to deal with personal hygiene problems.
We've all known people that have not done their utmost to care for their personal hygiene. It can even be funny; something you'll laugh or tease them about. But when it's your partner that has this problem, it stops being a laughing matter. When you care for somebody, it can be really difficult to discuss embarrassing, painful issues like personal hygiene. But if something your partner does (or doesn't do, like shower) is stinking up your relationship, it's up to you to let them know. You've just got to do it the right way.
Hints and Suggestions
Talking about poor personal hygiene isn't a lot of fun. So if you can avoid having a real conversation about it, you may just save yourself a lot of embarrassment. Much of the time, subtle (or sometimes not-so-subtle) hints are a good way to let your boyfriend or girlfriend know there's a problem. That is, as long as they're not totally clueless by nature. You can throw hints your partner's way by buying him or her deodorant and leaving it out somewhere obvious, or complimenting him or her effusively on how nice they smell after a shower. You get the idea.
If tossing around hints doesn't work, you can always move on gentle, inoffensive suggestions. We are all raised differently and taught different habits. While you may have been taught that it's important to, say, clean out your ears, you partner may not have. In short, your partner may not know they should be doing something. In these situations, gently suggesting a new product or method can make all the difference. Something like, "Why don't you try a foot powder? My father had problems with his feet and always said it really helped," can lead your partner in the right direction.
Talking to Your Partner
Unfortunately, hints and suggestions don't work on everybody. We've all dated people that, despite their other charms, don't pick up on a point unless you hit them over the head with it. If you're dating somebody like this, you're probably going to have to come right out and tell them you have a problem with some element of their personal hygiene. For most people, a simply stated, un-malicious comment about what's bothering you (like "I'm sorry, but you don't smell very nice after coming straight from the gym") is all the wake up call they need. Especially if you've been dating just a short time; embarrassment is pretty effective.
When nothing seems to work after having gone through hints, suggestions, and straight-out telling your partner that you have a problem, you've got only one choice left: you'll have to resort to threats. Now, I'm not saying you should threaten your boyfriend with a break up because he doesn't like the way deodorant feels on his skin. But you can tell him that you don't want to get close to him until he's showered and smelling fresh. And then stick to it. Even for those stuck in their bad-habit ways, a little personal motivation can go a long way toward affecting a change.
In every relationship, there are going to be things that you do differently. And while some of those things add charm and spice to the relationship, others add a less pleasant flavor, so to speak. The important thing to remember is that you care for your boyfriend or girlfriend for a reason. If there's an element of their hygiene that they're not willing (or able) to change, there's a good chance that you'll just have to come to terms with your partner's faults. Just as your partner does with you.
