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In the animal world, saying "I'm into you" or "you don't even have a chance" is simple. Through their behavior, animals make it very clear to other animals what they want and how they feel. "Dating" for them is clear-cut and wonderfully un-mysterious.

We humans are animals, too. And while we might think that our ability to communicate vocally makes connecting with another person easier, the truth is just the opposite. When it comes to establishing a quick connection with somebody who catches your interest, words just get in the way. When using words, humans give each other mixed message and make incorrect assumptions about what's going on. Words tend to make a mess of things.

In dating, body language is the most important communication tool we have. Experts say that about 75% of human communication is non-verbal; the subconscious is always working to interpret what a person's body language means, and with a lot more accuracy than words can give. Examining a person's body language is the simplest and most effective way of gauging their romantic interest. When going on that first in-person date after online dating, or eyeing somebody at the bar, or figuring out whether a friend is really "just a friend," body language tells you everything you need to know.

Body Language Clues that Your Date is Disinterested:

• Their body is turned away from you, or he or she leans backward when you speak.
• When you move towards your date, he or she shifts away.
• Their arms are crossed defensively.
• They don't voluntarily touch you.
• Your date doesn't make much eye contact, and looks anywhere but at you.
• They show a lack of interest in the conversation.

Body Language Clues that Your Date is Interested:

• Your date touches you casually more than once.
• They smile and make plenty of eye contact.
• They engage in what you're saying and seem in no hurry to move on from the conversation.
• They unconsciously groom.
• They consciously groom or touch themselves: applying lipstick, fixing or playing with their hair, or touching their body or mouth to bring attention to them.
• They lean in close to you.

Creating an Attraction with your Body Language

We all have body language habits that we learn during the course of our lives. Some of these habits are less attractive to potential dates than others. Some make us seem insecure, scared, or defensive, while others make us appear confident and appealing.

Fortunately, appealing and attractive body language can be learned. With a bit of practice, you can create just the right impression with your body language without saying a word. Some of the best ways to create an attraction with your body language are:

• Spread out and relax. This makes you seem open and confident. Keep your shoulders high and your hands unclenched.
• Be animated. This shows that you're engaged in the conversation and in your date. Gesture a bit more than you would normally.
• Mirror your date's body language.
• Smile often, but don't smile constantly (as this can be a bit creepy).
• Stay connected to the conversation and avoid looking over your shoulder or scanning the room.
• Make eye contact about 70-80% of the time.
• Use your face and body to flirt and participate in the conversation: wink, smile, and use small, fleeting touches to your best advantage.

The truth is, you don't have to speak to establish an instant romantic connection with somebody. In fact, it's better not to. By watching the body language of others and making a few modifications to your own, you bring out your "animal instincts"... making the whole dating process clearer, easier, and un-muddled by the silly words we all insist upon using.

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