There's no doubt that the internet is a terrific communications tool. For everyone. And while we all like to think that everyone we talk with is as honest as we are, that is unfortunately not the case. Not everyone you meet on an internet dating site will be who they say they are. Most dating sites, Datepad included, do a fairly good job at weeding out the scammers. But scammers by their very nature are clever and tricky. Their sole purpose is to get as much money from you as possible, and they'll say just about anything to meet their goals. As diligent as Datepad is, scammers will occasionally slip through the cracks.

Don't ever think that it can't happen to you. Don't be complacent in thinking "Oh, I'm far too smart for that". Thousands of people just like you have said exactly the same thing only to find themselves hundreds, sometimes thousands poorer, with absolutely no chance of recovering their money. Just recently the Windsor Star ran a story about a woman who was scammed out of $100,000 by someone she met on an internet dating site. It's heart breaking - if she'd known what to look for she would have recognized it for what it was a scam. Anyone can be the target of a scam and most anyone can be scammed if they don't know the signs.

So how exactly does a scammer on an internet dating site get started? Like anyone else, they creates a profile - a very fake profile. They'll fill out the minimum amount of information required, and post a photo obtained from, well, just about anywhere. ( Modeling websites and photo sharing websites are popular sources of photos for scammers) They then start searching for victims, assembling a list of possibles. The final step is to start message or nudging (some sites call it flirting or winking) members to see who ibites. Messages from scammers often give clues about their malicious intentions, and typically have one or more tell tale signs that you should stay away.

Most scammers, though not all, do not speak English as their first language, so their emails are typically full of spelling and grammatical errors. Scammers frequently use words inappropriately, use the wrong tense and misuse punctuation or leave it out altogether. Since they're 'talking' to possibly dozens of people a day trying to lay the groundwork for their scam, they frequently do not use your name or even your screen name in their emails to you because they simply can't keep all the names straight. Instead they use generics to address you like 'honey', 'baby', 'babe', sweetie', 'angel' etc. Another point to remember is that scammers often work in teams. Though you think you're talking to the same person day after day, often you're talking to several different people, which is why the emails and chats can vary so drastically from one day to the next, and why they 'forget' what you told them the day before.

We are compiling a list of actual messages that scammers use to try to con you. Below is a list of messages, along with an anaylization of each, received by actual scammers. We encourage you to review these messages for comparative purposes and to learn some of the techniques and writing styles used in scams.

1. Scam Example 1 - "Hello Dear"
2. Scam Example 2 - "A long run, incomprehensible, sentence"
3. Scam Example 3 - "Write to me on mine e-mail"

Because they're scammers and because sooner rather than later they'll hit you up for money, scammers don't usually want to use a dating site's built in chat or email system. Rather, they'll quickly invite you off site by giving you their MSN or Yahoo chat ID, and insisting that you do the same. They do this for one reason only; to make it more difficult for the dating site to gather proof of their activities. A dating site needs proof that someone is in fact a scammer before the moderators can take action. After all, an accusation is just that and could also be made by someone who just has a hate on for another member for whatever reason. So by luring you to communicate off site, there's a much better chance that your communication will not be saved, leaving you without concrete proof of the malicious activites. So if you do decide to talk to someone that you've met on Datepad through a web based system like MSN or Yahoo, make sure that you save your conversation history, and make sure you save your off site emails.

Most internet dating scammers share similar characteristics. Here are the more common ones. Again, don't let your guard down - just because the email you've just received from that guy or gal with the fabulous body doesn't share the same characteristics as described below, doesn't rule them out as a scammer.

1. Men are likely to be professional engineers, architects or that wonderful catch all, consultants. The most common industries include oil, diamonds and construction. Their 'profession' requires frequent travel to countries around the world.
2. Women are usually teachers, nurses, veterinarians, or artists. If no profession is given, they frequently present themselves as a tourist.
3. Most have distant family in West Africa, specifically Nigeria and Ghana.
4. They're usually deeply religious and frequently mention His praises in their letters.
5. A scammer's parents are usually deceased, making them 'orphans' (this one always makes us chuckle, we fail to see how a grown person can be an orphan, but there you are). They've usually been married at least once, but their spouse has either died in a gruesome traffic accident, or left the marriage to run off with the scammer's best friend. They usually have at least one child who sometimes, but not always, lives with a relative.
6. They deflect direct questions, particularly if you point out an inconsistency, by accusing you of not trusting them.

This section could literally fill a book. There are so many variations it's impossible to list them all. The premise behind all of them, of course, remains the same; they want your money.

The commonly named '419' scam originated in Nigeria in the 1980's. 419 refers to the part of Chapter 38 of the Nigerian Criminal Code that deals with obtaining property under false pretense. The 419 scam promises you riches beyond your wildest dreams in exchange for your 'assistance'. The writer will usually claim to be the son/daughter/wife of a now deceased tribal leader/political leader/leading businessman who left a large amount of money in a bank account or vault that for some inexplicable reason cannot be accessed by them. Said deceased tribal/political leader will usually have 'died' in a plane or car accident, and in some cases the writer will claim that he has been murdered by his political/business rivals. They request your 'assistance' in retrieving the money by advancing a small amount of money (small relative to the amount of the money promised in return) for bribes, transaction fees, transfer fees etc.. The 'fees' requested are, of course, bogus, and, surprise surprise, are never enough. No matter how good, and how plausible it sounds, stop and think about it. Why would a complete stranger without ever having met you, contact you with a scheme like this? Simple. They do it because it's worked in the past and the scammer hopes it will work again in the future. Don't fall for it.

The 'internet love scam' takes many forms, but all romance scams have characteristics in common;

1. Scammers' email addresses are usually with a web based email service like Yahoo or Hotmail, Yahoo being the most common.
2. The first part of the email address is often a name or occupation and frequently includes the word 'love', 'luv' , 'foryou' or '4u'.
3. Scammers travel, a lot! They usually claim to be American or British, but for some reason don't live in the country where they were born.
4. Most scammers will need to travel to Nigeria on business.
5. The scammers will usually declare his/her undying love for you after only a few emails or chats. Never mind that they know very little about you, or you about them. They were just so smitten with your photo, they couldn't help themselves. Seriously. If someone you'd dated only three times said this to your face, would you believe them? Chances are you wouldn't.
6. Someone in the scammer's family will die, be injured in an accident, requires life saving surgery, or a combination of all three.
7. The scammer was attacked and robbed of all ID including credit cards and cash.
8. The scammers needs help paying a bill of some kind; hospital, rent, hotel room, internet fees, passport or visa.
9. The scammer has a large contract which he/she will be paid for soon, but in the meantime he/she has no money for living expenses.
10. Scammers will usually request that you send them money via Western Union or Money Gram and usually in someone else's name. Often you'll be contacted by someone else claiming to be a government official, a doctor, a lawyer, or a hotel manager telling you that they know the person involved and he/she really does need the money.
11. The scammer is travelling to see you but has been delayed at the airport because he/she needs money for a Basic Travel Allowance or other such non-existent fees.
12. Scammers will often say that the credit cards they have are not accepted wherever it is that they claim to be.
13. After declaring his/her love for you, he/she just can't wait to be with you but needs money to buy a ticket. If you offer to buy the ticket and send it to them, there will be an excuse why this is not acceptable.
14. Most scammers claim to be very religious.
15. In order to convince you that he/she is real, the scammer will send you a parcel. The parcel will be held up for one reason or another and the courier company will demand payment of fees before the parcel can be sent to you.

Scammers will weave a web of lies and deceit, saying whatever is necessary to gain your trust and your sympathy. Remember, they do this for a living. It's their job, for lack of a better word. And they're VERY good at it. Scammers are masters at manipulation and have an excuse for every inconsistency. Even when confronted with solid evidence they'll deny they're a scammer and will turn the situation around wherein YOU are the 'bad buy' for not trusting them.

Romance scammers come in all shapes and sizes and can be found anywhere in the world. The examples I've used are mainly from Nigeria, but other countries such as Russia, China, former East Bloc countries like the Ukraine and Romania have also spawned thousands of fake internet dating profiles.

If you suspect you're talking online to a scammer, the best and safest course of action is to cease communication immediately. Block the user from contacting you further and delete them from your contact lists. No matter how tempting it may be, refrain from scam baiting; the practice of toying with scammer to see how ridiculous their story becomes. It serves no purpose other than to educate the scammer about where he/she went wrong allowing them to further perfect their pitch. If you have proof of a scam, report the user to Datepad by going to the Support Center to open a ticket. Remember to include your proof. Copy and paste the email in which you're asked for money. Datepad will take action against scammers, but the administrators can't just take your word for it, no matter how sincere. Your scammer was sincere too, remember?

If you must go offsite to communicate, use a web based email address like Yahoo, Hotmail or Gmail specifically for that purpose. Under no circumstances should you ever give a total stranger your personal or work email address. Never give out your home address or telephone number or your work location or telephone number.

There are a number of excellent resources available where you can educate yourself and find support in case you have been scammed. Some examples include the following:

1. www.internet-love-scams.org
2. www.romancescam.com

Become familiar with the Google and Yahoo search tools. Try searching for a suspected scammer's email address or IP address (see Obtaining IP Headers From a Received E-mail) to see if they turn up in any scammer databases.

The aim of the scammer is to make money, the more the better. If someone plays on your sympathies for financial gain remember one thing; the wellbeing of the scammer, someone you've never met, is NOT your responsibility. It's not your duty to pay for medical care, travel expenses, flights, hotels, cell phones, laptops, jewelry, visas, passports etc. It is your responsibility to safeguard yourself and your money.